Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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