Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
