I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize