Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
