Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
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His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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