you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
