Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
