If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize