Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
