i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
