he wants to bone in the snuggie
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
