At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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