"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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