I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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