used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just forgot I was standing up.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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