can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
