A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
