hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
