worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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