Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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