Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
