just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
