John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
