Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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