A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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