Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We have so much sex to catch up on
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
