jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
