2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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