I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
40s are totally the cure
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
