he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
