I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize