Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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