Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
