I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize