She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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