he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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