We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
