so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
