The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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