Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
