Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well you can't waste a boner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
