I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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