Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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