In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
