I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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