He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize