lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
