I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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