She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
