hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
