they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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