Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
