Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
