Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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