They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize