I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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