at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
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You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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