he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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