Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
