Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think your dad took our porno
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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