Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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