is your mom at the bar?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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